How to Talk to Kids About September 11

Living close to the Pentagon, the conversation on what happened on September 11th is going to happen at school. Everyone who was alive can remember exactly where they were on that day. I lived in Queens, New York when these events occurred. My children want to have that conversation on what I remembered, or what I saw, or what I felt. Talking to children about the events of September 11th can be a sensitive and challenging conversation. Earlier this year we made a trip to New York City and visited One World. I recollected what I saw that day to my kids. 

Here are some suggestions to help guide your discussion:

1. Consider Their Age: Tailor your conversation to the child's age and developmental level. Younger children may need simpler explanations, while older children may be able to handle more details.

2. Create a Safe Environment: Find a quiet and comfortable space where you can talk without distractions. Make sure the child feels safe and knows they can ask questions.

3. Be Honest and Simple: Use age-appropriate language to explain the basic facts of what happened on September 11th. Keep the information simple and avoid graphic details.

4. Address Their Feelings: Encourage the child to share their thoughts and feelings. Let them know that it's okay to feel sad, confused, or scared.

5. Emphasize Heroes and Helpers: Highlight the stories of first responders, firefighters, police officers, and other heroes who helped during and after the events. Focus on the helpers and the sense of unity that emerged.

6. Reassure Their Safety: Let the child know that the events of September 11th were a rare occurrence and that there are many people working to keep them safe.

7. Use Visual Aids Carefully: Consider using simple diagrams or pictures to help explain the events. Avoid showing graphic images that might be distressing.

8. Encourage Questions: Be prepared to answer any questions the child may have. If you don't know the answer, it's okay to say so and offer to find the information together.

9. Share Stories of Resilience: Talk about how communities came together to support each other and how people worked to rebuild after the attacks.

10. Connect to Today: Help the child understand that the world has changed since then, and some security measures were put in place to prevent similar events.

11. Discuss Acts of Kindness: Talk about the acts of kindness and unity that emerged after the attacks. This can help emphasize the positive aspects of human nature.

12. Monitor Their Reactions: Pay attention to how the child is reacting during the conversation. If they seem overwhelmed or anxious, offer comfort and reassurance.

13. Check-in Later: After the initial conversation, continue to check in with the child. Encourage them to share any thoughts or feelings that come up later.

14. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If you notice that the child is experiencing ongoing distress, anxiety, or other emotional challenges related to the conversation, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional.

Remember that each child is unique, so adjust your approach based on their individual needs and reactions. Your goal is to provide them with information, reassurance, and a safe space to express their feelings.

The team at Neighbors of Courthouse would like to take a moment to thank all the men, women, and first responders who acted on this day. Please take a moment to remember the lives lost on September 11th, 2001.